Friday, March 13, 2009

because Chicago needs another theatre blog

Welcome to Pheidio Eimi.

I'm Adam. I'm a Company member at Halcyon Theatre in Chicago, a sometime writer, sometime performer, sometime director, and occasional designer. I'm self-absorbed, self-important, and I don't even have the spine that these three guys have to call it like I see it. Instead, I'm usually smarmy and passive-aggressive and when people ask how my day is I say "wonderful" when what I mean is "I was up all night mopping my kitchen because a pipe burst upstairs".

My policy is "If you don't have anything nice to say, make shit up." I went to college to learn to be a liar, and if you don't think a theatre degree will pay the bills, you're myopic.

What does this mean to you, the consumer? Essentially, it means don't pay too much attention to any review I potentially write.

Yeah, I'll probably write a review or two. It's a sticky issue for a lot of theatre people who also write blogs, I know. I have tossed around the ethics of the thing and arrived at the following position: I will write reviews of only plays that I think are worth seeing. I won't necessarily write a good review (I've been known to hate productions that are worth seeing) and I can't be expected to write a review well, but, if 100% of the reviews I write can be considered tacit endorsements, there will be no outrage, right.

So, if I write something like this-

"The latest scatological offering from the pustules at Schtepenvulf was a raucous celebration reminiscent of the best college parties: it ended in shame, nausea and a cadence of 'never again'."

-what I really mean is you should absolutely go see whatever Sarah Ruhl retread they're dragging out this time...because if I don't think you should bother, the review will look like this:

Sound good? Do we have an accord?

Anyway, I'm not going to review anything for a while. I've just cast my summer Alcyone Festival production, Fucking Parasites by Ninna Tersman , and I got cast as a replacement in the next Mammals play, Devils Don't Forget. I am extremely psyched about both of these and will spend most of my blog time discussing these processes for the time being.

That's enough exposition. If this post were an audition monologue, Bob Fisher would not cast me.

Check back soon! I'm sure that eventually one of these posts will be informative and entertaining.